Sunday, April 7, 2013

A great week turned into bad...

I had planned that I will write a post about last night, which was one of the best evenings EVER. Andy McCoy, Finland's rock 'n' roll God, performed in Jyväskylä yesterday. However, I don't feel like writing the post now. I'm too sad to write it... I've been crying many hours today.

Why? Well, I found a tumor in Adele's body... And after a while, I found another... Two tumors, both on the same side of her body... They don't seem to bother her, which is good, but I feel very scared 'cos I'm afraid that they will grow bigger... If they grow bigger, I have to start making decisions whether to do a surgery or put her to sleep.... 

It should be an easy decision, Surgery, of course! But actually, it isn't. No, it's not about money. I'm always saying how poor I am, but for my baby girls, I'm never too poor. The problem is that Adele is starting to be old, 1½ years. She may not wake up from the sleep after the surgery. She may not wake up also because of her small size, rats are small animals.. And, even if the surgery would be successful, the tumors can always grow back... And the worst of all: If Adele dies, I have to put Ada asleep as well, which breaks my heart. But it has to be done because old rats don't get along with other rats, and rats can't cope alone.... 

I don't want to make these decisions!! 

Of course I should have seen this coming, tumors are genetic for rats... But when it actually happens to your own babies, it's absolutely terrible. I don't want to think about it, but everytime I see Adele, I want to start feeling her body and check on her moving, and it makes me very stressed... I just hope the tumors won't grow and she can live for a long time... <3

My little candy monster <3

6 comments:

  1. I am so terribly sorry. I have literally been in this exact same position in 2008, with the absolute love of my life Kurt my hairless rat. He developed a tumor on his stomach, which grew quickly, and I too was confused about surgery or putting him to sleep. But all of those reasons played into my choice, and I had to let him go... It was the hardest day, and I still tear up often thinking of him. I will be thinking of you and wishing for you to find peace which the choice you make, and that it will be the right one for your baby girls.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that ;___;
      Thank you <3

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